snow, old enemies, and my dog

i have been avoiding posting lately, because i am superstitious and i don't want some of my dreams to come true. Just as an update, my baby dream (which I may or may not have posted in this blog) came true. Pretty much the day after, my best friend from home got pregnant. So i will be an aunt, come july 4th.

the dream i had last night woke me up at 6:30 am screaming. except, the scream was coming from me. sorry, housemates, if I woke you up.

the dream was long and confusing, and took place in south Africa and Montana. Lots of things happened but the most vivid parts were in south Africa with katrena, a girl who i used to perform with years ago during high school... we never really got along because she was a prima donna and i just loved singing but she had the stage mom and the perfect body, yet i had the voice, so it created tension between us. Anyway, she was being called a slut and a stealer by lots and lots of people and I felt bad for her, so I took her on a walk and found out that she was really just super insecure about herself and lonely. People accused her of stealing something, and when they saw me with her they got confused because i usually avoided her. But we had a good conversation and I felt like I understood her more.

Somehow i jumped over to Montana and I was with my synchro family, the walls. We were traveling down the mountain with my dog in a big black SUV when suddenly we lost control of the car and slammed into another car with people in it. Everyone went flying into the snowbank, but everyone managed to be okay. except for my dog. My dad appeared suddenly and took my dog away and a huge line of people started walking towards us. i tried fighting against them, trying to make my way to the vet's office where my dad had taken my dog, but there were just so many people in the way. At some point, my dad told me that mickey didn't make it and he was in bad shape, so i started pushing harder crying harder and harder trying to get to my dog. I managed to climb up the snowbank and flailing, scrambled up the hill and pushed my way through the remaining people who were blocking the entrance.

When I walked into the beige building, I realized quickly that this wasn't your normal vet's office. it was very small and everything was closed off by doors. I was terrified of what I would find behind the doors, and opened them slowly, as you would in a haunted house and were terrified of what would pop out from behind it. The first door held lots of cats and kittens, and they were all just kind of stacked up on top of each other in drawers. There was no sign of my dog. The second room had bunnies and birds in it, and i started to hyperventilate. My dad suddenly appeared and I knew that my dog was gone. "Where's mickey? where is he?" i cried. "he's behind that door." my dad pointed at the door behind the door to the entrance of the building. I hadn't even noticed there was a door there. I slowly and timidly opened the door while holding my breath and looked inside. There he was, my dog. He was smaller, and a bit disfigured, but my dog was there. I immediately fell to the floor, sobbing and mickey came over and licked my face. I looked at him and i saw that his mouth was bleeding, and where he had been sitting moments before was a small pool of blood but otherwise he looked okay. I held him in my arms and i told my dad that we had to get out of there, and find a better vet because i knew he was going to be okay. I had to make sure he was okay. I owed him that.





that's where my dream ended. it put me in an emotionally shaky mood all morning and i still haven't been able to shake it. I think it's because I know he's getting old, and because I'm going home soon. When I go home, my mental picture directly involves my house, my parents, my driveway, the mountain behind my house, my dog, my 4 cats, my friends, and green. I think also, from here on out, I'm going to be more careful when driving with my dog.