It was a series of dreams this morning. And now that it's 830pm, I can't quite remember all the details. But what I do remember... there were two different dreams.
dream one: (of what I remember)
Joy was getting married. But she couldn't decide if she wanted to get married in Taiwan or not. It didn't matter in the end, because it was really Jessica Lacey that was getting married. So on her wedding day, we were getting the house ready and it was near the ocean. It started to rain, and I was in a white tee shirt. I was with a tall man. Suddenly I was in the ocean and was enjoying myself but then realized I was getting way too far out. The waves kept getting bigger and bigger and I was swallowing a lot of water. I tried dodging the waves, and swimming under then, but I kept getting pounded and pounded down harder and harder. I took a big breath and went under, in an attempt to swim between the waves, but that didn't work and I resurfaced. I took an even bigger breath and went under and swam as deep as I could. I hugged the bottom of the ocean floor and felt the waves rush over me and i moved forward. Everything went black. A little while later I woke up underwater and it was very dark. I attempted to resurface and was trapped by a beige sofa. I went back down and swam forward a little, and came up very very slowly. I reached the surface and took a big gulp of air and looked around. I realized I was in a warehouse or a tunnel of some kind, the water was there but the ceiling was very low and there were lots of metal things all over. I swam around until I found my way out and found myself in a hallway of some sort. I followed the hallway until I found an exit, and found myself in a bridesmaid dress, in what was called either New Hall or Pralle but it was a very pretty clubhouse with dark tiles, vines, and dim lighting. I found the rest of the bridesmaids and we were all waiting for Jessica to come out and her husband was waiting her. His name was Christen, like my name. He was tall, wearing a white shirt and black pants, and had dark brown hair. He was kind of heavyset.
That was the end of the dream. It was so strange.
Dream 2
I don't remember specific details. But I do remember that it began at the ARD pool where I used to coach synchro. I was in the pool swimming laps, fully aware that the team would show up soon and I didn't particularly want to be there when they got there. I was in a purple bathing suit and the water felt so cool. I saw swimmers I knew begin to show up for practice, but open laps hadn't finished yet. I started chatting with a few of the girls I knew when crazy bitch mom walked in with the head coach. The head coach kind of ignored me and crazy bitch mom just wizzed on by me and started complaining that I shouldn't be there. I got out of the pool and started to dry off with every intention of leaving, when my dad walked in and announced that what was going on was ridiculous and that I should be able to say my side of what happened. We walked into some sort of church and my parents were there, and so was my ex boyfriend J. He was very supportive, as my parents were, and they made me sit in the back on top. We listened to crazy bitch mom to finish saying nasty things about me and then it was my turn.
At this point, I kept falling asleep and waking up, and according to James, was making noises and crying out in my sleep. Since I kept waking up, the things I said in my speech kept changing and I have no idea what I said. I think I woke myself up so I could say the perfect thing.
After it was all over, I was pretty miserable, and J disappeared and my other ex boyfriend cody showed up. He said he wanted to talk and I figured since today had already sucked a lot, the rest of the day couldn't get worse. Russ ended up driving us and we were taking these windy roads around and showed up at Chris Dunstan's house (mind you, I haven't seen or talked to chris since high school). His little sister Marie let us in, and she was very sweet. Jose was there and he kept offering us beer and pot. Marie sat down on the floor and offered me a Popsicle. We were sitting there and I was asking how she was and what was going on in her life, and I looked up and I was like in a gallery, with people from synchro looking down at me to see what I would do when these temptations were offered to me. I looked up and yelled that it wasn't about them. It was about the swimmers and that the parents have ruined the sport. I was not guilty of doing anything and I was disappointed that it had come to this and that Marsha Skinner (the founder of the team) would roll over in her grave if she knew what the team had come to.
At some point cody walked back in and told me he loved me.
Then I woke up.
It was so strange, considering that several of the things that happened in the dream actually happened in real life, the people were real, and a few of the situations were real, but the point is that I haven't thought about any of that stuff in forever, none of it really affects me since (the boyfriend stuff particularly, that i'm WAY over) was YEARS ago.
Maybe it was because I went home this week and saw all the things that reminded me of what happened and what my life used to be like.
Either way, I woke up yelling and confused. It put me in a strange mood the rest of the day.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
snow, old enemies, and my dog
i have been avoiding posting lately, because i am superstitious and i don't want some of my dreams to come true. Just as an update, my baby dream (which I may or may not have posted in this blog) came true. Pretty much the day after, my best friend from home got pregnant. So i will be an aunt, come july 4th.
the dream i had last night woke me up at 6:30 am screaming. except, the scream was coming from me. sorry, housemates, if I woke you up.
the dream was long and confusing, and took place in south Africa and Montana. Lots of things happened but the most vivid parts were in south Africa with katrena, a girl who i used to perform with years ago during high school... we never really got along because she was a prima donna and i just loved singing but she had the stage mom and the perfect body, yet i had the voice, so it created tension between us. Anyway, she was being called a slut and a stealer by lots and lots of people and I felt bad for her, so I took her on a walk and found out that she was really just super insecure about herself and lonely. People accused her of stealing something, and when they saw me with her they got confused because i usually avoided her. But we had a good conversation and I felt like I understood her more.
Somehow i jumped over to Montana and I was with my synchro family, the walls. We were traveling down the mountain with my dog in a big black SUV when suddenly we lost control of the car and slammed into another car with people in it. Everyone went flying into the snowbank, but everyone managed to be okay. except for my dog. My dad appeared suddenly and took my dog away and a huge line of people started walking towards us. i tried fighting against them, trying to make my way to the vet's office where my dad had taken my dog, but there were just so many people in the way. At some point, my dad told me that mickey didn't make it and he was in bad shape, so i started pushing harder crying harder and harder trying to get to my dog. I managed to climb up the snowbank and flailing, scrambled up the hill and pushed my way through the remaining people who were blocking the entrance.
When I walked into the beige building, I realized quickly that this wasn't your normal vet's office. it was very small and everything was closed off by doors. I was terrified of what I would find behind the doors, and opened them slowly, as you would in a haunted house and were terrified of what would pop out from behind it. The first door held lots of cats and kittens, and they were all just kind of stacked up on top of each other in drawers. There was no sign of my dog. The second room had bunnies and birds in it, and i started to hyperventilate. My dad suddenly appeared and I knew that my dog was gone. "Where's mickey? where is he?" i cried. "he's behind that door." my dad pointed at the door behind the door to the entrance of the building. I hadn't even noticed there was a door there. I slowly and timidly opened the door while holding my breath and looked inside. There he was, my dog. He was smaller, and a bit disfigured, but my dog was there. I immediately fell to the floor, sobbing and mickey came over and licked my face. I looked at him and i saw that his mouth was bleeding, and where he had been sitting moments before was a small pool of blood but otherwise he looked okay. I held him in my arms and i told my dad that we had to get out of there, and find a better vet because i knew he was going to be okay. I had to make sure he was okay. I owed him that.
that's where my dream ended. it put me in an emotionally shaky mood all morning and i still haven't been able to shake it. I think it's because I know he's getting old, and because I'm going home soon. When I go home, my mental picture directly involves my house, my parents, my driveway, the mountain behind my house, my dog, my 4 cats, my friends, and green. I think also, from here on out, I'm going to be more careful when driving with my dog.
the dream i had last night woke me up at 6:30 am screaming. except, the scream was coming from me. sorry, housemates, if I woke you up.
the dream was long and confusing, and took place in south Africa and Montana. Lots of things happened but the most vivid parts were in south Africa with katrena, a girl who i used to perform with years ago during high school... we never really got along because she was a prima donna and i just loved singing but she had the stage mom and the perfect body, yet i had the voice, so it created tension between us. Anyway, she was being called a slut and a stealer by lots and lots of people and I felt bad for her, so I took her on a walk and found out that she was really just super insecure about herself and lonely. People accused her of stealing something, and when they saw me with her they got confused because i usually avoided her. But we had a good conversation and I felt like I understood her more.
Somehow i jumped over to Montana and I was with my synchro family, the walls. We were traveling down the mountain with my dog in a big black SUV when suddenly we lost control of the car and slammed into another car with people in it. Everyone went flying into the snowbank, but everyone managed to be okay. except for my dog. My dad appeared suddenly and took my dog away and a huge line of people started walking towards us. i tried fighting against them, trying to make my way to the vet's office where my dad had taken my dog, but there were just so many people in the way. At some point, my dad told me that mickey didn't make it and he was in bad shape, so i started pushing harder crying harder and harder trying to get to my dog. I managed to climb up the snowbank and flailing, scrambled up the hill and pushed my way through the remaining people who were blocking the entrance.
When I walked into the beige building, I realized quickly that this wasn't your normal vet's office. it was very small and everything was closed off by doors. I was terrified of what I would find behind the doors, and opened them slowly, as you would in a haunted house and were terrified of what would pop out from behind it. The first door held lots of cats and kittens, and they were all just kind of stacked up on top of each other in drawers. There was no sign of my dog. The second room had bunnies and birds in it, and i started to hyperventilate. My dad suddenly appeared and I knew that my dog was gone. "Where's mickey? where is he?" i cried. "he's behind that door." my dad pointed at the door behind the door to the entrance of the building. I hadn't even noticed there was a door there. I slowly and timidly opened the door while holding my breath and looked inside. There he was, my dog. He was smaller, and a bit disfigured, but my dog was there. I immediately fell to the floor, sobbing and mickey came over and licked my face. I looked at him and i saw that his mouth was bleeding, and where he had been sitting moments before was a small pool of blood but otherwise he looked okay. I held him in my arms and i told my dad that we had to get out of there, and find a better vet because i knew he was going to be okay. I had to make sure he was okay. I owed him that.
that's where my dream ended. it put me in an emotionally shaky mood all morning and i still haven't been able to shake it. I think it's because I know he's getting old, and because I'm going home soon. When I go home, my mental picture directly involves my house, my parents, my driveway, the mountain behind my house, my dog, my 4 cats, my friends, and green. I think also, from here on out, I'm going to be more careful when driving with my dog.
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